“End of Life” can occur at any stage, not just in old age, and signifies the final few months of life. I have placed it in the “Winter” group as it embodies the same processes of slowing down, reflecting, and releasing that are present in old age.

End of Life is a natural part of existence, and there is no denying it. Different beliefs and religions offer various interpretations of death. Some view it as a natural conclusion to life, while others may instil fear without offering a logical explanation. However, for many, prayer and an attitude of gratitude have been helpful in coping with the grief and sadness often associated with death. In the quiet moments, as life begins to slow, there is an opportunity for reflection, gratitude, and peace.

Five Stages of Grief

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1969), who collaborated with the founders of hospice care, described the process of an individual coming to terms with their own death. She introduced the five stages of grief, known as the Kübler-Ross model:

1. Denial: People may believe there has been a mistake. They might pretend that death isn’t happening, continue to live as if nothing is wrong, or reassure others that everything is fine. Beneath this façade, however, lies a great deal of fear and complex emotions.
2. Anger: As the reality of death sets in, individuals may feel angry. They see life as unfair and often direct their anger at others, including higher powers or medical professionals, whom they blame for their situation.
3. Bargaining: After anger subsides, fear returns, but now people begin to plead. They may ask for more time, to accomplish one last goal, or seek another favor from life or a higher power.
4. Depression: When the reality of death becomes unavoidable, individuals may feel an overwhelming sadness. They may isolate themselves, contemplate drastic actions, or lose the will to live, experiencing a profound lack of motivation.
5. Acceptance: Finally, individuals come to terms with the fact that all forms of life, including their own, have an end. They accept that life is concluding, find peace, and often make the most of the time they have left, reconciling with others around them.

Loved ones of those who are dying may also experience these stages of grief. However, while many go through these stages, not everyone necessarily experiences each one, and the order may vary.

Talking openly about End of Life and personal preferences is essential for closure and acceptance. Dr. Peter Saul emphasizes this importance in a thought-provoking TED Talk.

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

Wouldn’t it be comforting to look back on life with satisfaction and without regrets? Unfortunately, this is seldom the case. Bronnie Ware, a nurse in palliative care, spent years counselling and supporting those in their final days. She documented the most common regrets shared by her patients in her blog, Inspiration and Chai. Here are the top 5 regrets of the dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

These regrets offer valuable lessons for those of us who are still healthy, reminding us to live more authentically and prioritize what truly matters.

Personal Growth at the End of Life

Amid frequent visits to healthcare professionals, diminishing energy, and physical fatigue, the End of Life can also be a time of significant personal growth. Those who have the opportunity to prepare for this stage may find solace in reviewing their lives, making amends, completing unfinished tasks, and saying their goodbyes.

As Zalman Schachter-Shalomi wisely observed, “Ask ourselves in moments of fatigue whether slowing down may not be a message to attend to the moment, to be with it… to taste it… to embrace it; a way of making us take time, finally, to tend to what’s here now.”

Have you spoken to your loved ones about their wishes at the End of Life? How can you help bring peace and comfort during this time?

Read about the Blobs:
Spring: 1-6, 7-12, 13-18, 19-24
Summer: 25-30, 31-36, 37-42, 43-48
Autumn: 49-54, 55-60, 61-66, 67-72
Winter: 73-78, 79-84, 85-91, 91-…

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RESOURCES AND REFERENCES

Kübler-Ross model from Wikipedia

Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying by Bonnie Ware

From Age-ing to Sage-ing: A Revolutionary Approach to Growing Older by Zalman Schachter-Shalomi